Another LJ-cut nobody will click on

[pez]

To be quite honest, I know I've been neglecting my flist. Not replying when I probably should. But you know, sometimes I feel quite gutted too when I'm totally expecting a reply and get like, none, for posts with specific friends filters, general filters, as well as no filters. It makes me wonder if people are just scanning through. Maybe I've been boring people with all my fandom and university rants. And so yeah, in a childish act of retaliation, I'm not replying much to people in my flist either. And even people who don't ignore me are becoming victims.

And sometimes, I just don't know what to say in reply. I hope those of you who want me to reply will understand me enough not to take my lack of response offensively. You know me. I think I lack something in my brain, I can't seem to say comforting words or sympathise with people most of the time. I'm like that in RL, I'm slightly better but not that much online.

To me LJ isn't a diary, so I don't use private-cuts... which also means I don't say everything in the journal. That's just the way I choose to use it. A lot of things I don't say to anybody anyway, not even family or friends. But if you ask me? A lot has happened in the last half a year. And sometimes I just sit down and wish somebody will pet me on the shoulder and say "I know" even if I haven't said anything at all. But that sort of relationship can only exist on screen, really.

And everything in this entry is so random. The paragraphs don't seem to connect. Nevermind.

Comments

[browneyedboy00.livejournal.com]

Dont be down :_(

Sorry Ive not had much to say. As you said somtimes your just not sure.
But it does suck when you say stuff important and noone says anything. Im always reading. Even if I dont comment. x

[mirichan.livejournal.com]

The only time I skip your posts is when they are PoT or in Chinese ^_~

So don't worry! I'm not insulted if you don't respond to any of my entries...

[genkischuldich.livejournal.com]

I read, I just don't often reply. Mostly because I don't know what to say, but other times because I click on reply and by the time the text box comes up, the words have left me.... I'm sorry. ^^;;

[sardius.livejournal.com]

Like what Manon said, I usually scan your post if it's about PoT but I *do* read the chinese. Although, I'm pretty interested in PoT now because I see you and your friends raving about it all the time. :)

Yuki, it's okay if you don't reply to people's LJ. Honestly, I'm a lurker in most of my flist, apart from a small group of people. I do scan posts, mind you. It's all comes back to not having enough time in RL to read every single posts on LJ. If I was to do that, I'd be here the whole day!

Funny, because your ways of thinking certainly seems like what I used to do a year ago. My LJ is a bit random, sometimes I'm pretty whiny, over the top, screaming or swearing my ass off, but it feels good to release that tension. Don't be afraid of putting down your thoughts. Try even putting it down as a private post, or to friends whom you trust. It does help to pour it all out, sometimes.

*hugs*

[ex-tremble707.livejournal.com]

^^;; <-- actually does read posts and wants to say things most of the time to all of the people on her FL but is afraid she'll like.. say it wrong or it will be misunderstood.

^^;; I'm also awfully shy (it doesn't seem like it though, I know but I am and I want to like squish that part down, so I am and I'm hoping this will come out right) And sometimes I don't comment on people's entries because I don't know what to say either *sheepish look* I think alot of people are like that ahh I'm not making sense am I ^^;;;

And I don't think the paragraphs are random at all, they actually make perfect sense to me O.o but, but, even though we just met, I wouldn't mind petting you and saying, "I know," and the probably just babbling about odd things and going off into a tangent about blah.

^^;;; <-- thinks she's rambled enough. ♥

[vicky-guu-sama.livejournal.com]

heya
well, surprised or not, i am a listener alot of the time
although I do talk loud in real life (and alot)

so you know, any time :) (preferably with cakes)

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

I do read all your posts, but I haven't been commenting because they've been mostly Tenipuri latetly and I feel like such a poseur whenever I talk about it since I've only seen a few episodes. ^_^;;;

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Thank you~ *hugs*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Thanks :)

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

well, we're alike in the way that we talk loud and simply blow too much water. No substance to what we say out loud ever...

I wonder if this is a good or bad thing.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

^^" I understand. I was more talking about there being posts I specifically expected response... like, I made a locked post recently (about 5 or 6 entries ago?), totally expecting a reply since the people on that friends lock had shown interest in the beginning. But now no one is saying a word. It makes me feel like a fool. I've added you to that friends group a few days back too (only just realised you might be interested), so if you go back my posts you should see it. But of course I didn't really expect you to reply since I've only just added you.

But since time is running out, I think I'll just go through with the idea on that post by myself. I just think if a group of people did it together it'd be more meaningful... *sigh*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

*glomps* Thanks Ebby.

I'm fine with people not responding most of the time! It's just... when I write things directing at/for some people and they don't say a thing, I feel really blah.

*hugs again* Just thank you :)

Oh, randomly... did you know that there really is a word "blah"? At least there is a definition at dictionary.com...

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Oh sometimes that happens to me too... and recently LJ keeps giving me "the page cannot be found" errors, so I get really annoyed when I try to reply. *sigh*

(and just now when I pressed "post comment", it gave me that error again...)

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Thank you... *hugs* I always reply when I think/know people are writing something for me, but when I don't comment to other posts, I don't know how that'd make people feel. But sometimes, by the time I've pressed the reply button, the words have left me -_-" I just hope people don't take it offensively.

I think I'll try to write a bit more here and see if that doesn't scare people off ^^

*hugs again* thanks!

[yoshi-6-6.livejournal.com]

I am always reading your LJ, but I don't know what to say and even if I say something, it's likely to be meaningless. Hope you don't mind.

Quote
"It's just... when I write things directing at/for some people and they don't say a thing, I feel really blah."

Haha, are you talking about my 'RPing online?' It wasn't appropriate for me to reply, so I didn't :P

[ex-tremble707.livejournal.com]

*Squee* ^__^ I've been glomped!! *glomps back* Aww noo you dun hafta thank me *huggsies* It's fine <333

Ooh feeling blah is teh suck ;-; <33 If you're feeling blah, you can always come cuddle in mah lap and be all *nyu* and I could pets youse <33

Ahh! hugs :D!! *huggsies back*

Really? o.o ooh... d00d.. that's so frikkin cool xD!!! ♥ I gotta check that out now >D

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

OMFG Ebbeh you just gave me the crackiest image of Tezuka nuzzling Niou's lap. And purring. And Niou petting him. *dies multiple times XD*

I'll be poking you online XD

*glomps again*

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

::goes back and scans posts:: Eep, sorry - it's been a crazy week at work (we're moving to new offices) so I missed seeing it on my usual flist rounds. ^_^;;; But it's a sweet idea - I think she would appreciate it. (I would join in, but I already got them something. ^_^;;;)

[ex-tremble707.livejournal.com]

*DIES* Tezuka Nuzzling Niou's LAP!?? *dirty thoughts* And Purring? You have the image of a Tezu-kitty in Niou's lap, with glasses and everything and Omg *Dies* the crack*

:p poke me, poke me :D

*hugs hugs teh PEZ* ♥