Another LJ-cut nobody will click on

[pez]

To be quite honest, I know I've been neglecting my flist. Not replying when I probably should. But you know, sometimes I feel quite gutted too when I'm totally expecting a reply and get like, none, for posts with specific friends filters, general filters, as well as no filters. It makes me wonder if people are just scanning through. Maybe I've been boring people with all my fandom and university rants. And so yeah, in a childish act of retaliation, I'm not replying much to people in my flist either. And even people who don't ignore me are becoming victims.

And sometimes, I just don't know what to say in reply. I hope those of you who want me to reply will understand me enough not to take my lack of response offensively. You know me. I think I lack something in my brain, I can't seem to say comforting words or sympathise with people most of the time. I'm like that in RL, I'm slightly better but not that much online.

To me LJ isn't a diary, so I don't use private-cuts... which also means I don't say everything in the journal. That's just the way I choose to use it. A lot of things I don't say to anybody anyway, not even family or friends. But if you ask me? A lot has happened in the last half a year. And sometimes I just sit down and wish somebody will pet me on the shoulder and say "I know" even if I haven't said anything at all. But that sort of relationship can only exist on screen, really.

And everything in this entry is so random. The paragraphs don't seem to connect. Nevermind.

Comments

[sardius.livejournal.com]

Like what Manon said, I usually scan your post if it's about PoT but I *do* read the chinese. Although, I'm pretty interested in PoT now because I see you and your friends raving about it all the time. :)

Yuki, it's okay if you don't reply to people's LJ. Honestly, I'm a lurker in most of my flist, apart from a small group of people. I do scan posts, mind you. It's all comes back to not having enough time in RL to read every single posts on LJ. If I was to do that, I'd be here the whole day!

Funny, because your ways of thinking certainly seems like what I used to do a year ago. My LJ is a bit random, sometimes I'm pretty whiny, over the top, screaming or swearing my ass off, but it feels good to release that tension. Don't be afraid of putting down your thoughts. Try even putting it down as a private post, or to friends whom you trust. It does help to pour it all out, sometimes.

*hugs*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Thank you... *hugs* I always reply when I think/know people are writing something for me, but when I don't comment to other posts, I don't know how that'd make people feel. But sometimes, by the time I've pressed the reply button, the words have left me -_-" I just hope people don't take it offensively.

I think I'll try to write a bit more here and see if that doesn't scare people off ^^

*hugs again* thanks!