Another LJ-cut nobody will click on

[pez]

To be quite honest, I know I've been neglecting my flist. Not replying when I probably should. But you know, sometimes I feel quite gutted too when I'm totally expecting a reply and get like, none, for posts with specific friends filters, general filters, as well as no filters. It makes me wonder if people are just scanning through. Maybe I've been boring people with all my fandom and university rants. And so yeah, in a childish act of retaliation, I'm not replying much to people in my flist either. And even people who don't ignore me are becoming victims.

And sometimes, I just don't know what to say in reply. I hope those of you who want me to reply will understand me enough not to take my lack of response offensively. You know me. I think I lack something in my brain, I can't seem to say comforting words or sympathise with people most of the time. I'm like that in RL, I'm slightly better but not that much online.

To me LJ isn't a diary, so I don't use private-cuts... which also means I don't say everything in the journal. That's just the way I choose to use it. A lot of things I don't say to anybody anyway, not even family or friends. But if you ask me? A lot has happened in the last half a year. And sometimes I just sit down and wish somebody will pet me on the shoulder and say "I know" even if I haven't said anything at all. But that sort of relationship can only exist on screen, really.

And everything in this entry is so random. The paragraphs don't seem to connect. Nevermind.

Comments

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

I do read all your posts, but I haven't been commenting because they've been mostly Tenipuri latetly and I feel like such a poseur whenever I talk about it since I've only seen a few episodes. ^_^;;;

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

^^" I understand. I was more talking about there being posts I specifically expected response... like, I made a locked post recently (about 5 or 6 entries ago?), totally expecting a reply since the people on that friends lock had shown interest in the beginning. But now no one is saying a word. It makes me feel like a fool. I've added you to that friends group a few days back too (only just realised you might be interested), so if you go back my posts you should see it. But of course I didn't really expect you to reply since I've only just added you.

But since time is running out, I think I'll just go through with the idea on that post by myself. I just think if a group of people did it together it'd be more meaningful... *sigh*

[luxetumbra.livejournal.com]

::goes back and scans posts:: Eep, sorry - it's been a crazy week at work (we're moving to new offices) so I missed seeing it on my usual flist rounds. ^_^;;; But it's a sweet idea - I think she would appreciate it. (I would join in, but I already got them something. ^_^;;;)