Doujinshi - Captain Tennis

[pez]

Author/circle: 69+36
Rating: C for complete crack
Characters: A lot of schools involved

Only scanned the first story. Translation provided - it's not very accurate, but should be good enough for the story!

There's Boys Love (the Takumi Kotani movie) reference at one point.

Warning: Do NOT eat or drink or do anything requiring attention when reading this. I will not be held responsible for damaged computer equipment, body parts or sanity.

	Jackal: urghhhh Marui: Ah. What's wrong, Jackal? Jackal: Well, it's all your fault that I'm not feeling well. Marui: My fault... Jackal, could it be that you.. Marui: Are pregnant? Jackal: What! What are you talking about?! Marui: Yay Jackal! Since when was this? I can't believe it! *sparkle* Jackal: You idiot! Listen to what people have to say! Jackal: *kinda dead* Marui: Oh, sowie! Marui: Don't force yourself when you're with child. Jackal: WHO'S WITH CHILD?! Sanada: Marui, you're annoying! What's all the fuss about! Marui: Sanada~ I'm going to be a daddy! Jackal's pregnant with mah baby! Sanada: Oh, pregnant? Sanada: Jackal! You should not practice if you're pregnant, tarundoru. (I think...) Renji: That's an anime face, Genichirou. Sanada: PREGNANT!? Renji: You're slow on realising the situation. Sanada: You! Being a m-m-m-m-m-m-m-male you're pregnant? Marui: Like I said, like I said! Stop that Sanada, my baby's inside that tummy! Sanada: S-sorry!! Marui: For God's sake, that oaf. Jackal: Can someone please just listen to me.
	Yagyuu: That's good news isn't it Niou-kun! Niou: Yeah that's what I think. Niou: Oiya oiya, have you gotten the talk from Marui-kun? How unforthcoming of you. (I dunno...) Jackal: PLEASE, SOMEONE. Marui: Yukimura! Sorry about this, but a menu for the pregnant Jackal... Jackal: MARUI! ENOUGH ALREADY!! Marui: But Jackal~ I'm only doing this for your sake. Jackal: YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT ME AT ALL!! Renji: This is postnatal depression. Sanada: And what's that? Renji: Because of hormonal changes during pregnancy and fears of taking care of the baby, you enter a state of depression. (side note from author: this is actually AFTER the birth...) Marui: It's okay Jackal! Let me handle all your worries! Give it all to me! ♥ Jackal: Oh crap, I feel like I'm really pregnant now. Sanada: NO! But... but!! Is there such a thing as a guy's body becoming pregnant!? Yukimura: The persons involved have told you themselves. Could you please stop being annoying? Sanada: B-but Yukimura... Marui: I know Sanada... it's hard to believe, but it's the truth. Marui: *sparkle* Even between men, when there is love, they can have children! Yagyuu & Niou: Marui-senpai so cool... Sanada: *thinks* I-in that case, right now Oshitari has my child...! (author's note: SanaOshi OTP setting) Marui: We've gotta tell the dudes in the other schools! *poses* Yagyuu: I'll take the pic now. Niou: We're having sekihan today. (sekihan = red rice = beans and mochi = food for auspicious occasions)
	Hyoutei Gakuen Jiro: EVERYONE!! THIS IS BAD!! My Marui-kun's married a kuronbo! (kuronbo = derogatory form of a dark-skinned person) Oshitari: Whut!? *laugh* Gakuto: Oi Jiro!! Let's take a look. Oshitari: Uwa, it's a marriage photo! The dudes at Rikkai do interesting things! Gakuto: It looks fun! Let's do it too! [phone pic says "We're married"] Oshitari: Oh oh, let me marry Gakkun~ ♥ Gakuto: Yesh! Have my baby Yuushi!! Jiro: How nice. Atobe: Oi, you guys, enough already. Gakuto: Atobe. Ohtori: It's now! Shishido-san, please tell everyone that we've already gotten married!! (I think...) Shishido: Be quiet Choutarou. Atobe: Don't bullshit me. Aaan? Atobe: If you're gonna do it, then don't lose to others. Right, Kabaji? Kabaji: The winner is Hyoutei. Hiyoshi: What sort of a competition is this... Seishun Gakuen Oishi: "Newly-wed contest"? The prizes are all-you-can-eat yakiniku and vouchers from Atobe Sports. Inui: Another one of Atobe's idiotic talks. Momo: Atobe-san must be a lonely person... Oishi: What are we going to do? Tezuka: We must carefully select the seme and the uke, Oishi. We must not start a pairing war. Inui: You know a lot about this, Tezuka. Fuji: What does Taka-san imagine his wife to be like?
	Taka: Someone who looks good in an apron... someone like Fuji? Fuji: Taka-san... Taka: Ah, sorry! I've said something strange. Fuji: :D Fuji: I'd love to marry to someone like Taka-san. Taka: Fuji! Some... somehow I'm blushing~ Fuji: Hehe. Echizen: Those two of ours have decided. Tezuka: Fuji and Kawamura... not bad. Eiji: Uwaaa~ that's homo~ that's dirty~~ Tezuka: Can someone throw this person out. Oishi: You're a party pooper Eiji... Tezuka: Anyone who denies the endless possibilities of TakaFuji is not qualified to be in this club. (I swear that's what Tezuka said there.) Inui: The Tezuka today is just like my hanamaru. How nice... (Hanamaru = gold star you get for good work in school) St. Rudolph Gakuen Mizuki: A newly-weds' contest? Nfu... that's interesting. Mizuki: Akazawa-buchou! Don't just stand there, take a photo with me. Akazawa: Heh? What are you talking about Mizuki What's the photo for? Mizuki: You just shuddup and do as I say! Do you hate taking photos with me so much? I WILL DIVORCE YOU BEFORE THE MARRIAGE!! Akazawa: R-right. I get it, so don't get into hysterics. Really...
	Higa Chuu [silence] Rin: Who's going to be Eishirou's husband? (I think. It's ryukyu-ben XD;) Kai: Just be quiet. Kite: *ka-cha!* Rin: Ah! He took a picture by himself! Kite: I've decided to have a setting of being a single mother. Rin: Bakayaro! The child inside you isn't yours alone! Kai & Tanishi: The baby will be without a dad, the poor thing!! Yamabuki Chuu Minami: The all-you-can-eat and vouchers sound good... but what are we going to do about it? Sengoku: Really, it sounds like an event Atobe would hold. Minami: Should I ask Dan, he's the most girl-like... Sengoku: What, Minami-kun. You're saying you like them that way? (I think...) Minami: HEH? Sengoku: Even though you said you like Kiyoko. (Kiyosumi, he means *cough*) I hate you!! Minami: I never said that... oi oi Sengoku!! Sengoku: We're only a year apart in age and you like the younger one!! Minami: There's no such thing! You, you're attractive! Minami: I get it, Sengoku! Let's get married!! [photo taken] Muromachi: Minami-san... you've got that sort of a hobby. Minami: No no Muromachi, it's not... Sengoku: I'm sending this to Atobe. Muromachi: I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE!! Minami: OI WAIT MUROMACHI! WAIT!! Sengoku: I've got jimmy-married with Minami~
	Rokkaku Chuu Aoi: Newly-weds contest! Bane-san has to enter~ Bane: I don't mind, but who's going to marry to me? Aoi: Speaking of the beauty in our team, it has to be... "Bane-san!!" Bane: Hn? Dabide: There are bloodstains here...! Dabide: Kekkon no nokoru...kekkon. (bloodstain that's left here... marriage) Bane: DABIDE, YOU! Aoi: Ooo! Domestic violence couple! Fudomine Chuu Kamio: One of us here... will marry to Tachibana-san!! Shinji: Maa... I have the highest chance... my hair's long... Ishida: This has nothing to do with hair!! Uchimura: Exactly! Tachibana-san likes healthy people!! Shinji: My hair's long because I'm healthy... Tachibana: What's all this about? Kamio: Tachibana-san! Tachibana: "Newly-weds contest"? I see. Kamio: Tachibana-san! Please select one of us!! Everyone is ready for this (marriage)!! Tachibana: I choose?
	Tachibana: I see... Everyone: *hearts beat faster* Tachibana: Ishida. Ishida: Eh? Me!? Ishida: I see... Tachibana-san!! Happy... please make me happy. Tachibana: I have to make you my husband...!! I like guys who are tall. And so... Atobe: The 11093rd Newly-Weds contest will now begin, you tomcats! Which couple will grasp the glory in their hands? Don't look away, na, Kabaji? Kabaji: Usu. Yuuta: Is this the 11093rd time of this contest already? Yanagisawa: Things happen in the speed of light as we speak da ne! (I think...) Atobe: So, the contestants from each school will now enter!! Newly-weds, welcome!! Atobe: Rikkai dai fuzoku's Marui-Jackal pair!! Marui: Yaa-ho!! Jackal: Why is this happening? Atobe: Our Hyoutei Gakuen's Mukahi-Oshitari pair!! (and something I can't understand)
	Oshitari: I'm borrowing the mic Atobe. Oshitari: *sings a song called Heya To Y-shirt to Watashi* (a very old, classic love song) Dan: Oo! He's singing to aim for high score!! Akutsu: I can't believe you made me wear this sort of clothes and dragged me to this sort of place!! Someone: HOLD ON A MINUTE!! Oshitari: Oh? Sanada: Oshitari!! Oshitari: Eek, Sanada... Sanada: You... with some other man... you bastard... Sanada: THE KID IN THIS TUMMY IS MINE!! Oshitari: Whut? Don't say stupid things! This baby is Gakkun's!! Oshitari: Right!! Gakkuen! Help me!! Say that this child is ours!! Gakuto: What, seems like Yuushi is popular!! Oshitari: GAKKUN! Dan: A filthy-looking man has entered suddenly! What's this going to do to the scores?! Ganbare Noeru! (Boys Love reference OMG XD) Sanada: I...! You..! Oshitari: Really no thanks!
	Ohtori: This is our chance Shishido-san! Even though we're laughed at, we're the couple officially recognised by the original author! (and something else, sorry I can't understand) Shishido: Please, Choutarou!! Use Japanese! Atobe: Oi, you aren't going to take over my stage (I think), come out, Kabaji!! Momo: What what is this a fight? It's violent, violent! Dan: Oh no, this is really bad, it's become a big fight! Oh! There's a lot of indecent activities going on admist the chaos! Noeru don't die! Someone: OI YOU GUYS, ENOUGH ALREADY!! Jackal: *sound of pain* Marui: Whoever hurt Jackal and the child inside him... Marui: WILL ALL BE KILLED!!
	Marui: By Jackal. Jackal: ME!? Atobe: *clap clap* Marui: Atobe. Atobe: You guys aren't bad as a couple. You are the winners!! Dan: DADADADN! The 11093rd Newly-Weds Contest winners are Rikkai Dai Fuzoku's Marui-Jackal pair! Marui: Yay!! Jackal! We're the winners. We'll have all-you-can-eat yakiniku, it'll be nutritious for the child! Jackal: Ya-yakiniku?! Jackal: Yesterday we almost died eating yakiniku and now you're gonna eat it again? (I think...) Marui: Eh? So you're not pregnant? Jackal: You... Dan: So everyone! This is the end of the Newly-Weds Contest!! May the couples be happy ever after! Noeru, quickly leave that dirty man! Sanada: Wait! Don't end this yet! Round 2! Oshitari will pair with me! Oshitari: Nooo!! Help me Gakkun!!

THE END.



for self ref: [28/???], linked here

Comments

[soloproject.livejournal.com]

.....................how could I live in a world WITHOUT this crack?!?!? Even though I hate Jackal-abuse That said...

ZOMG TACHIBANA/ISHIDA KYAAAAAA!!!

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Jackal is THE abuse target everywhere! XD

Erm, correction, it's Ishida/Tachibana. XDDDDD

[iyori.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA XDDDDDDD This doujinshika is so awesome *_____* EQUAL LOVE TO ALL THE SCHOOLS! I WEEP TEARS OF JOY! But oh man the pages are so packed~ (Thank god the text is typed and not hand-written OTL)

[melpants.livejournal.com]

I honestly think my brain melted out of my ear O____o
So much cracky win XD
Mizuki's hysterics Xd
Fudo's Tachibana love~
Koharu and Yuuji trying to gangbang Kamio there at the end XDXDXD
I love it X3

[bloodyapplepi.livejournal.com]

xD Oh my dear lord... -dying of laughter-

Mind if I snag a few panels to color? -will credit-

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Oh, sure, go ahead. XDDD

[mayezinha.livejournal.com]

Saved for future reference, and took note of the indications XD

[miladynamizoro.livejournal.com]

I was confused with the OshtarixSanada pair but. .Jackal pregnant amused me for too much. Especially how Marui took it was funnier. XDDD

[kat8cha.livejournal.com]

XD Oh Tachibana, you know there are taller boys then Ishida out there!

roflol, BL reference!

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

....ChinenTachibana? XD

[thirdshade.livejournal.com]

....this is the best dojinshi EVER.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

It takes mpreg to a whole new level!

*will try not to deny the endless possibilities of TakaFuji, and pray for Noeru's good fortune*

[zenkaiven.livejournal.com]

This is so incredibly awesome. Really. I died.

So. Uhm. ...can I steal these on behalf of otakupink and turn them into a full out scanlation? You'd get the credit for scans and translation, of course. And we'll translate the little things that weren't done. *puppy eyes*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Oh! Yes, please do! That'll be awesome. ^^

[eur0philia.livejournal.com]

Oh god...

I think my brain just broke...

XDDDDDDD

So much for concentrating on uni work...

[reposoir.livejournal.com]

Oh god
oh god
oh god

&hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts

It. was just. SO BEAUTIFUL AND CRACK!

SP being officially recognized by the orginal author! The D2! Ishida! Momo's DIALOGUE and fighting Kaidoh chibi! THE MPREG GALORE!!!!!!!!!!

Pez, I rabu you.

I rabu you a lot.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Now we just need to imagine "having picture taken together by phone = married" and then stare at various pics of Baba and Masa together... 8D

[tokki-chan.livejournal.com]

omg, thank you so much. i was actually wanting some d2 and THIS DELIVERED IN THE BEST OF WAYS! (and yay! nangoku!)

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks! Is it one of those lazy-tongue things? Samishi instead of sabishii... XD;

[ladyofthegate.livejournal.com]

Thank You. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. That was priceless. XDD

[kreznick.livejournal.com]

just what i need! early morning crack before meeting hahahaha! THANK YOU! i look forward for more. XDD

[cosmic-kath.livejournal.com]

ROFL brilliant! *_____*

[vixky89.livejournal.com]

...can I worship whoever created this beautiful, beautiful story?
XDXD

[cedony.livejournal.com]

rofl. This was great! I especially love that one panel with Konjiki and Hitouji molesting Kamio. Hahaha.

[denimninja.livejournal.com]

Oh man, so much awesome crack. xD
Is it wrong that it agrees with my sense of logic? Except the SanaOshi.... that confuses me.

Poor poor Jackal. He's only abused 'cause he's the most sane.

[magaru]

♥ ♥ ♥
Such a wonderful thing to start the day with ♥ It's been some time since I've last seen such awesome crack XD

[star-in-my-soup.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh... This was incredible. XD You were right to warn us not to drink anything. I know I'm glad I didn't. Poor, long-suffering Jackal, having to put up with Marui's insanity. XDDD And Shipper!Tez was amazing. (The part about "Anyone who denies the endless possibilities of TakaFuji is not qualified to be in this club" was the best. XD) SingleMom!Kite also amused me. *still laughing*

Also, I found the SanaOshi pairing incredibly funny, for some strange reason. This clearly proves I need more sleep.

Thanks so much for scanning and translating! ♥

[torasetsuna.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAOOOOOO~!!!!!!! ♥♥♥~!!

Soooo funny. OMG crack overload here. *ded*

[priestnobaka.livejournal.com]

LMAO!!

Crack was what I needed at this time, thank you for sharing hahaha!XDDDD

[alice-and-lain.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! Thanks for sharing this! It's so cute and I'm happy to see most of the schools represented!

[shinorin.livejournal.com]

:D I dunno what I would have done without this hilarious CRACK AWESOMENESS ♡
s o m u c h T H A N K S ♡ for uploading and translating and sharing this with us

I luv ya :D