Doujinshi - Captain Tennis

[pez]

Author/circle: 69+36
Rating: C for complete crack
Characters: A lot of schools involved

Only scanned the first story. Translation provided - it's not very accurate, but should be good enough for the story!

There's Boys Love (the Takumi Kotani movie) reference at one point.

Warning: Do NOT eat or drink or do anything requiring attention when reading this. I will not be held responsible for damaged computer equipment, body parts or sanity.

	Jackal: urghhhh Marui: Ah. What's wrong, Jackal? Jackal: Well, it's all your fault that I'm not feeling well. Marui: My fault... Jackal, could it be that you.. Marui: Are pregnant? Jackal: What! What are you talking about?! Marui: Yay Jackal! Since when was this? I can't believe it! *sparkle* Jackal: You idiot! Listen to what people have to say! Jackal: *kinda dead* Marui: Oh, sowie! Marui: Don't force yourself when you're with child. Jackal: WHO'S WITH CHILD?! Sanada: Marui, you're annoying! What's all the fuss about! Marui: Sanada~ I'm going to be a daddy! Jackal's pregnant with mah baby! Sanada: Oh, pregnant? Sanada: Jackal! You should not practice if you're pregnant, tarundoru. (I think...) Renji: That's an anime face, Genichirou. Sanada: PREGNANT!? Renji: You're slow on realising the situation. Sanada: You! Being a m-m-m-m-m-m-m-male you're pregnant? Marui: Like I said, like I said! Stop that Sanada, my baby's inside that tummy! Sanada: S-sorry!! Marui: For God's sake, that oaf. Jackal: Can someone please just listen to me.
	Yagyuu: That's good news isn't it Niou-kun! Niou: Yeah that's what I think. Niou: Oiya oiya, have you gotten the talk from Marui-kun? How unforthcoming of you. (I dunno...) Jackal: PLEASE, SOMEONE. Marui: Yukimura! Sorry about this, but a menu for the pregnant Jackal... Jackal: MARUI! ENOUGH ALREADY!! Marui: But Jackal~ I'm only doing this for your sake. Jackal: YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT ME AT ALL!! Renji: This is postnatal depression. Sanada: And what's that? Renji: Because of hormonal changes during pregnancy and fears of taking care of the baby, you enter a state of depression. (side note from author: this is actually AFTER the birth...) Marui: It's okay Jackal! Let me handle all your worries! Give it all to me! ♥ Jackal: Oh crap, I feel like I'm really pregnant now. Sanada: NO! But... but!! Is there such a thing as a guy's body becoming pregnant!? Yukimura: The persons involved have told you themselves. Could you please stop being annoying? Sanada: B-but Yukimura... Marui: I know Sanada... it's hard to believe, but it's the truth. Marui: *sparkle* Even between men, when there is love, they can have children! Yagyuu & Niou: Marui-senpai so cool... Sanada: *thinks* I-in that case, right now Oshitari has my child...! (author's note: SanaOshi OTP setting) Marui: We've gotta tell the dudes in the other schools! *poses* Yagyuu: I'll take the pic now. Niou: We're having sekihan today. (sekihan = red rice = beans and mochi = food for auspicious occasions)
	Hyoutei Gakuen Jiro: EVERYONE!! THIS IS BAD!! My Marui-kun's married a kuronbo! (kuronbo = derogatory form of a dark-skinned person) Oshitari: Whut!? *laugh* Gakuto: Oi Jiro!! Let's take a look. Oshitari: Uwa, it's a marriage photo! The dudes at Rikkai do interesting things! Gakuto: It looks fun! Let's do it too! [phone pic says "We're married"] Oshitari: Oh oh, let me marry Gakkun~ ♥ Gakuto: Yesh! Have my baby Yuushi!! Jiro: How nice. Atobe: Oi, you guys, enough already. Gakuto: Atobe. Ohtori: It's now! Shishido-san, please tell everyone that we've already gotten married!! (I think...) Shishido: Be quiet Choutarou. Atobe: Don't bullshit me. Aaan? Atobe: If you're gonna do it, then don't lose to others. Right, Kabaji? Kabaji: The winner is Hyoutei. Hiyoshi: What sort of a competition is this... Seishun Gakuen Oishi: "Newly-wed contest"? The prizes are all-you-can-eat yakiniku and vouchers from Atobe Sports. Inui: Another one of Atobe's idiotic talks. Momo: Atobe-san must be a lonely person... Oishi: What are we going to do? Tezuka: We must carefully select the seme and the uke, Oishi. We must not start a pairing war. Inui: You know a lot about this, Tezuka. Fuji: What does Taka-san imagine his wife to be like?
	Taka: Someone who looks good in an apron... someone like Fuji? Fuji: Taka-san... Taka: Ah, sorry! I've said something strange. Fuji: :D Fuji: I'd love to marry to someone like Taka-san. Taka: Fuji! Some... somehow I'm blushing~ Fuji: Hehe. Echizen: Those two of ours have decided. Tezuka: Fuji and Kawamura... not bad. Eiji: Uwaaa~ that's homo~ that's dirty~~ Tezuka: Can someone throw this person out. Oishi: You're a party pooper Eiji... Tezuka: Anyone who denies the endless possibilities of TakaFuji is not qualified to be in this club. (I swear that's what Tezuka said there.) Inui: The Tezuka today is just like my hanamaru. How nice... (Hanamaru = gold star you get for good work in school) St. Rudolph Gakuen Mizuki: A newly-weds' contest? Nfu... that's interesting. Mizuki: Akazawa-buchou! Don't just stand there, take a photo with me. Akazawa: Heh? What are you talking about Mizuki What's the photo for? Mizuki: You just shuddup and do as I say! Do you hate taking photos with me so much? I WILL DIVORCE YOU BEFORE THE MARRIAGE!! Akazawa: R-right. I get it, so don't get into hysterics. Really...
	Higa Chuu [silence] Rin: Who's going to be Eishirou's husband? (I think. It's ryukyu-ben XD;) Kai: Just be quiet. Kite: *ka-cha!* Rin: Ah! He took a picture by himself! Kite: I've decided to have a setting of being a single mother. Rin: Bakayaro! The child inside you isn't yours alone! Kai & Tanishi: The baby will be without a dad, the poor thing!! Yamabuki Chuu Minami: The all-you-can-eat and vouchers sound good... but what are we going to do about it? Sengoku: Really, it sounds like an event Atobe would hold. Minami: Should I ask Dan, he's the most girl-like... Sengoku: What, Minami-kun. You're saying you like them that way? (I think...) Minami: HEH? Sengoku: Even though you said you like Kiyoko. (Kiyosumi, he means *cough*) I hate you!! Minami: I never said that... oi oi Sengoku!! Sengoku: We're only a year apart in age and you like the younger one!! Minami: There's no such thing! You, you're attractive! Minami: I get it, Sengoku! Let's get married!! [photo taken] Muromachi: Minami-san... you've got that sort of a hobby. Minami: No no Muromachi, it's not... Sengoku: I'm sending this to Atobe. Muromachi: I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE!! Minami: OI WAIT MUROMACHI! WAIT!! Sengoku: I've got jimmy-married with Minami~
	Rokkaku Chuu Aoi: Newly-weds contest! Bane-san has to enter~ Bane: I don't mind, but who's going to marry to me? Aoi: Speaking of the beauty in our team, it has to be... "Bane-san!!" Bane: Hn? Dabide: There are bloodstains here...! Dabide: Kekkon no nokoru...kekkon. (bloodstain that's left here... marriage) Bane: DABIDE, YOU! Aoi: Ooo! Domestic violence couple! Fudomine Chuu Kamio: One of us here... will marry to Tachibana-san!! Shinji: Maa... I have the highest chance... my hair's long... Ishida: This has nothing to do with hair!! Uchimura: Exactly! Tachibana-san likes healthy people!! Shinji: My hair's long because I'm healthy... Tachibana: What's all this about? Kamio: Tachibana-san! Tachibana: "Newly-weds contest"? I see. Kamio: Tachibana-san! Please select one of us!! Everyone is ready for this (marriage)!! Tachibana: I choose?
	Tachibana: I see... Everyone: *hearts beat faster* Tachibana: Ishida. Ishida: Eh? Me!? Ishida: I see... Tachibana-san!! Happy... please make me happy. Tachibana: I have to make you my husband...!! I like guys who are tall. And so... Atobe: The 11093rd Newly-Weds contest will now begin, you tomcats! Which couple will grasp the glory in their hands? Don't look away, na, Kabaji? Kabaji: Usu. Yuuta: Is this the 11093rd time of this contest already? Yanagisawa: Things happen in the speed of light as we speak da ne! (I think...) Atobe: So, the contestants from each school will now enter!! Newly-weds, welcome!! Atobe: Rikkai dai fuzoku's Marui-Jackal pair!! Marui: Yaa-ho!! Jackal: Why is this happening? Atobe: Our Hyoutei Gakuen's Mukahi-Oshitari pair!! (and something I can't understand)
	Oshitari: I'm borrowing the mic Atobe. Oshitari: *sings a song called Heya To Y-shirt to Watashi* (a very old, classic love song) Dan: Oo! He's singing to aim for high score!! Akutsu: I can't believe you made me wear this sort of clothes and dragged me to this sort of place!! Someone: HOLD ON A MINUTE!! Oshitari: Oh? Sanada: Oshitari!! Oshitari: Eek, Sanada... Sanada: You... with some other man... you bastard... Sanada: THE KID IN THIS TUMMY IS MINE!! Oshitari: Whut? Don't say stupid things! This baby is Gakkun's!! Oshitari: Right!! Gakkuen! Help me!! Say that this child is ours!! Gakuto: What, seems like Yuushi is popular!! Oshitari: GAKKUN! Dan: A filthy-looking man has entered suddenly! What's this going to do to the scores?! Ganbare Noeru! (Boys Love reference OMG XD) Sanada: I...! You..! Oshitari: Really no thanks!
	Ohtori: This is our chance Shishido-san! Even though we're laughed at, we're the couple officially recognised by the original author! (and something else, sorry I can't understand) Shishido: Please, Choutarou!! Use Japanese! Atobe: Oi, you aren't going to take over my stage (I think), come out, Kabaji!! Momo: What what is this a fight? It's violent, violent! Dan: Oh no, this is really bad, it's become a big fight! Oh! There's a lot of indecent activities going on admist the chaos! Noeru don't die! Someone: OI YOU GUYS, ENOUGH ALREADY!! Jackal: *sound of pain* Marui: Whoever hurt Jackal and the child inside him... Marui: WILL ALL BE KILLED!!
	Marui: By Jackal. Jackal: ME!? Atobe: *clap clap* Marui: Atobe. Atobe: You guys aren't bad as a couple. You are the winners!! Dan: DADADADN! The 11093rd Newly-Weds Contest winners are Rikkai Dai Fuzoku's Marui-Jackal pair! Marui: Yay!! Jackal! We're the winners. We'll have all-you-can-eat yakiniku, it'll be nutritious for the child! Jackal: Ya-yakiniku?! Jackal: Yesterday we almost died eating yakiniku and now you're gonna eat it again? (I think...) Marui: Eh? So you're not pregnant? Jackal: You... Dan: So everyone! This is the end of the Newly-Weds Contest!! May the couples be happy ever after! Noeru, quickly leave that dirty man! Sanada: Wait! Don't end this yet! Round 2! Oshitari will pair with me! Oshitari: Nooo!! Help me Gakkun!!

THE END.



for self ref: [28/???], linked here