(no subject)

[pez]

Large amount of random post today from me but, MY FEET ARE SO COLD. They're ICY. SO ARE MY HANDS. Damn poor circulation. Damn you!

English help please! Is this the correct use of "intently"? Sitting down nearby, he saw that his housemate was actually reading a textbook quite intently. -- I want to say the housemate was really focused on his reading.

Comments

[xiu]

Sounds right to me :D

...*rubs your feetsies* Welcome to my world *horrible circulation @_@*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

:D

I HATE YOUR WORLD!

but I loff teh Nori ♥

[xiu]

I hate my world too :D It is very very cold and purple :D

I luff teh Pezzie one, too *hearts;

[soloproject.livejournal.com]

It's ok too...you could try getting rid of the word textbook for a better sentence flow so it doesn't sound like a run-on?

Sitting down nearby, he saw his housemate reading quite intently. B

But otherwise it sounds great :)

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

:D ♥!

This comes in a few paragraphs ago: On the couch, Atobe sat with one leg crossed over another, an elbow on the armrest and his head popped up by his fist. His free hand leafed through the book that was on his lap. It looked as though he was completely disinterested and not concentrating, but it was always difficult to tell with Atobe.

The "actually" and "textbook" is to show Tez realising Atobe was actually revising. Although, it does sound a bit run-on... *pokes at it*

[soloproject.livejournal.com]

You could just make it Sitting nearby, he saw his housemate reading the textbook, quite intently. :D

Comma. And your context clues will point out the rest without you having to say ♥