I'm a stupid foreigner (surfaces may have become slippery due to the adverse weather conditions)

[pez]

Liz, I read what you told me about this morning. Oh my God. XD

It's still really hard to get into Olive Riley's blog, probably because of the heavy traffic.


Not too long ago I was talking with Liz about how people use English. Personally I can't stand people who speak like this:

"People such as yourselves..."

"Yourselves"? What the bloody hell? While in some cases, using "yourself" and "myself" etc is perfectly reasonable, it seems like people are getting too scared of using the word "you". Is it too direct? Is it because you don't know when to use "me" and when to use "I", that you started using "myself", and so to balance things out you start to use "yourself" as well?

Oh, I'm clearly aware sometimes it's a style choice. It might even hint class differences. But some people utter these things when they're clearly just confused.

"I would like to thank you..."

Okay, so what's this business about "would like to"? If you're going to thank someone, then bloody well thank them. Doesn't "would like to" imply "I want to but I can't", or "if I could meet anyone, I would like to meet...", that sort of thing?

So what's wrong with "Thank you for..." or "I thank you"?

Okay, maybe that just sounds nicer or something. I don't know, I looked up WOULD in a dictionary and it's not helping. And then I read a report on a technical check (which means we tell them what they got wrong and what they should do) and I get monsters like this:

"[company] would suggest that the issue of the impact of ... needs to be considered."

Now, maybe I'm just a stupid foreigner. Just what is the WOULD doing there? In fact, why are we /suggesting/? The issue of the impact needs to be considered. We're telling them this, as a fact. So WTH?

Don't get me started on "I hereby enclose..." and "I endeavour to answer your queries upon my return." orz SOMEBODY, SHOOT THESE PEOPLE.

And then somebody is going to tell me, "just accept it, that's how English is done. It's like how people are ON the train when they're actually IN the train. DON'T QUESTION IT." ;;

Comments

[semishade (from livejournal.com)]

There was an excellent scene in a film once in which ruthless gangleader Paul Newman humiliated his son (played by Daniel Craig) who kept saying "I would like to apologise" until he finally got the point and said "I apologise." People think that they're being more formal and polite but often they're just distancing themselves from responsibility for what they're saying. "Would suggest that..." basically translates as "we want to cover our back in case we're wrong."

I always give consultants a hard time when they use that kind of language because they're all being paid a lot more than I am and with those salaries they can damn well give me a clear recommendation!!!

I'd probably hesitate over "people like you" though. Out of context, it does sound a bit dismissive/aggressive.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

*snerk* Yes, yes. I still think "I thank you" sound more sincere, even if it sounds a bit strange. (It used to make me go HUH? until I realised "thank" is a verb and so "I thank you" makes total sense. But I suppose since people are now just saying "thank you", adding an "I" in front would stick out weirdly.)

I have had a conversation with my boss before about this! Too bad the current piece of work is a collaboration between two teams. The things I produces are always straight forward and precise, the things the other team produce... well, they're the Safety team. They're probably taught to bulk-up their work with jargon and disclaimers.

^^ Most things can be, if taken out of context!