The day the Tories knocked on Pez's door

[pez]

Mostly paraphrased because I don't remember every word.

[knock on the front door]

Pez: *answers* Hello?

Guy: Hi there. [insert self introduction as someone working for the Conservatives] *hands over a leaflet with the face of the local candidate on*

Leaflet: *shows Local Candidate smiling and doing stuff. Such as painting a garden fence. Maybe if I vote for him I can get him to come round to do my garden?*

Local Candidate: *somewhere 20 feet away talking on a mobile*

Guy: Do you mind if I ask if you are planning to vote?

Pez: Yes I've registered to vote.

Guy: Could I ask if we can count on your support? *points at his shiny Tory badge*

Pez: I'm afraid I'll be voting for the Lib Dems. (you didn't ask if it's for local or general but it's the same answer anyway)

Guy: *pulls a face* Are you happy with Gordon Brown at the moment? Because if you vote for the lib dems you're likely to end up with Gordon Brown again.

Pez: (I'll end up with Gordon? You mean personally?) *smiles* I'm not much for tactical voting, I'm just voting for the party I want.

Guy: Oh. *looking as distraught as Gillian Duffy did when she sulked in an intervew about not going to vote anymore. Maybe because voting makes her a bigot? And because someone likely misheard her saying "fucking immigrants" when she said "flocking immigrants", her feelings are terribly hurt and she needs to protest by giving up her right to vote. It's just a vote. People only died for it.*

Pez: But thanks anyway. Bye!

[later]

Pez: I hate it when people do all this scaremongering stuff. I'll vote for whoever I want to vote for.

Storme: Totally.

Pez: Damn, should've named a less popular party. Should've said I'm voting for the Greens. (Which is a very nice party, but not my choice this time.)

Storme: What'd he say then! XD

Pez: And he didn't even ask me about the local election. (Although the candidate was right there. Talking on the phone whilst his people knocked on doors.)

Storme: Says a lot about them.

Comments

[storme]

I was impressed at how unprepared he seemed to be for your response not to be 'oh my god, really? but I hate gordon brown! I've changed my mind I WANT CAMERON WOO'.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

If they knock on my door again I'll answer with, "I'm not voting for you guys because I can do better photoshopping than you." :D

[storme]

How about 'I'm sorry, I'm not voting for Cameron unless he gets surgery so he looks more like his poster.'?

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

That also works. But the last time he had a big poster in my town somebody drew a big cock on it. Which, thinking about it now, is a more accurate depiction of the man.

[giving-ground.livejournal.com]

And wrote underneath the "we can't go on like this" slogan, in a piece of cutting political satire, "I have a cock on my face."

Although it probably should've just said "I am a cock."

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

.........THERE NEEDS TO BE POLITICAL!CHINTSUBU MANGA.

[giving-ground.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether to go ARGH OH GOD MY MIND or agree that this would be a completely appropriate reflection of the state of British politics.

[storme]

Pez made me look up Chintsubu.

.......goodness, Japan, you are such a special world of strange.

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

SHOW THE JEFF.

[storme]

Please, we already introduced him to the concept of yiffing today, I think he's broken enough.

...maybe tomorrow. :P

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

It's just changing "I have a cock on my face" to "I have a face on my cock."

Or just "I'm a cock with a face." :D/

Anyway, I can't vote for them. I'm a gay immigrant.

[giving-ground.livejournal.com]

A cock with a face (that has been pasteded on).

Yeah, those things. And also a decent human being!

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Pastededing faces onto cocks - the pinnacle of photoshopping!

[scribblemoose]

Oh, it's great if you tell them you're voting Green! They immediately try and talk to you about the environment, at which point I ask them about education and social justice and they get in a total flap, because the only answers they know are to environmental Green Policy, not the rest of it. *g*

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

It's terrible they don't pay attention to the parties they don't consider a "threat", just like how they didn't think about the Lib Dems until after the first TV debate. =/ To them the Greens probably are more an environmental organisation than a party. orz"""""

"Threat" or not, not looking at your competition and therefore not learning what the others are doing right (or wrong) is a big mistake.

[semishade (from livejournal.com)]

They don't want to have a discussion, just to find out who's planning on voting for them (and maybe get a good photo). You can probably assume that you're not on the Tory todo list for reminder visits/calls on polling day!

[eolo.livejournal.com]

Marry me. RIGHT NOW

I'll cook, I'll bake, I'll clean the house, take care of your Tezmobile, do your chores and I'll learn how to craft clothes for you to be flawless and do your makeup every day before work.