pez

I've never watched EastEnders properly but if I did, maybe I'd find it to be as cheesy as my fic. Wow. I mean, WOW. The only thing left to happen would be for someone to get pregnant and two (or more) men claiming to be the father!

David: I-- I... *wibble*

Rush: Don't worry Dave, I'll take responsibility! LET'S GET MARRIED.

Torgal: Wrong, Rush. I am the father. Step aside, I will take care of Lord David.

Someone: *walks in, complete with own theme music*

Everyone: *looks*

Emma: Shut up, whelps! I AM THE FATHER.

David: Emmaaaaa! *dives towards Emma's bosom* ;;

Tomorrow, in Pez's Cheesy Fic:

[Clip showing David going into labour. Dr John Sykes is at the end of the bed, peering between David's legs and shouting for him to push. Beside the bed, Emma clutches David's hand.]

[Clip showing Allan verbally abusing Torgal...

~~Eminem~~ Allan: At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?

Caedmon: *chokes, his throat already slit by Allan*

Allan: You really fucked me Torgal
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Torgal, I was only 180
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean!

There's a forty year old sovani lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?
You loved him didn't you?

Torgal: No.

Allen: Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
You think I'm ugly don't you!

Torgal: No.

Allen: No you think I'm ugly!

Torgal: ......]

[clip showing Rush below the Valeria Heart. He pulls up one sleeve and looks down on the wrist. Then camera pans to the sharp, sharp edge of the Valeria Heart.]

Don't miss tomorrow's Pez's Cheesy Fic!

♪ *dum dum dum dum - da dum dum* ♫