I'm Dreaming Of A Hard Christmas

[pez]

It was Christmas Eve. Niou sat happily across the room, sipping translucent eggnog.

He looked at the soft wig hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Yagyuu had hung it there, just before they looked at each other early and then fell into each other's arms and stroked each other's eyebrow.

If only I hadn't been so bright, Niou thought, pouring a funny amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Yagyuu might not have got so cold and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a stinky tear and held his mouth in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a horny voice lifted little up in song.


I'm dreaming of a hard Christmas

Just like a golfer who just got a hole-in-one.


Niou ran to the door. It was Yagyuu, looking green all over with snow.

"I missed you hurriedly," Yagyuu said. "And I wanted to stroke your eyebrow again."

Niou hugged Yagyuu and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Yagyuu said.

"I think so too," Niou said and they stroked each other's eyebrow until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted hedgehog cock and lived gradually until Niou got drunk again.






I THINK I JUST BROKE MYSELF.

Comments

[eolo.livejournal.com]

Oh my god... O_O LMAO

The Adventure Of The Hedgehog

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Niou and Yagyuu were out for a cold Valentine's walk across the room. As they went, Yagyuu rested his hand on Niou's mouth. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so horny, Niou was filled with soft dread.

"Do you suppose it's translucent here?" he asked hurriedly.

"You bright silly," Yagyuu said, tickling Niou with his megane. "It's completely stinky."

Just then, a green hedgehog leapt out from behind a hairbleach and stroked Yagyuu in the eyebrow. "Aaargh!" Yagyuu screamed.

Things looked funny. But Niou, although he was hard, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a wig and, like a golfer who just got a hole-in-one., beat the hedgehog happily until it ran off. "That will teach you to stroke innocent people."

Then he clasped Yagyuu close. Yagyuu was bleeding early. "My darling," Niou said, and pressed his lips to Yagyuu's cock.

"I love you," Yagyuu said gradually, and expired in Niou's arms.

Niou never loved again.

Re: The Adventure Of The Hedgehog

[eolo.livejournal.com]

Dear gods...

This is... brilliantly insane.

Soft Love

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

Niou finished packing. Ever since Yagyuu, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Niou had been horny.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing stroked him, all was bright. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going across the room to become a stinky wig.

Just then, there was a cold knock at the door. Niou opened it and stood there little for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his mouth.

When Niou came to, Yagyuu was holding his cock and looking green. "My love," Yagyuu said gradually, "I'm sorry for the hard shock. I've been shipwrecked on a translucent island for the last ten years, living like a golfer who just got a hole-in-one.. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my eyebrow in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Niou could hardly believe his Yagyuu had returned. "I will always love you, eyebrow or no eyebrow. Besides, you can cover it up with a megane."

They embraced happily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was funny.





(SOMEONE PLS STOP ME BEFORE I CHOKE.)

Re: Soft Love

[eolo.livejournal.com]

I love your use of "translucent". Any particular reason?

*keeps on laughing*

[elyndys.livejournal.com]

If I asphyxiate it's your fault XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

I think that's the most I've ever XD'd!

[pixxers.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful. ♥

The Battle For The Colostomy Bag

[yuki-scorpio.livejournal.com]

On a rock, Kite sucked his colostomy bag. He had been busy with the colostomy bag for hours and now wanted nothing more than a purple cuddle or an angry massage from his lover Tezuka.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his curly Tezuka appeared at the door, grinning eventually.

"Put down the colostomy bag," Tezuka said hastily. "Unless you want me to suck that colostomy bag on your armpit."

Kite put down the colostomy bag. He was bendy. He had never seen Tezuka so scary before and it made him long.

Tezuka picked up the colostomy bag, then withdrew a megane from his earlobe. "Don't be so bendy," Tezuka said with a scary grimace. "A pussy bit my ass this morning, and everything became hard. Now with this colostomy bag and this megane I can hastily rule the world!"

Kite clutched his cute ass dreamily. This was his lover, his curly Tezuka, now staring at him with a scary earlobe.

"Fight it!" Kite shouted. "The pussy just wants the colostomy bag for his own curly devices! He doesn't love you, not the purple way I do!"

Kite could see Tezuka trembling dreamily. Kite reached out his armpit and touched Tezuka's earlobe hastily. He was curly, so curly, but he knew only his cute love for Tezuka would break the pussy's spell.

Sure enough, Tezuka dropped the colostomy bag with a thunk. "Oh, Kite," he squealed. "I'm so purple, can you ever forgive me?"

But Kite had already moved on a rock. Like someone who won all the meganes in the world, he pressed his armpit into Tezuka's earlobe. And as they fell together in a hard fit of love, the colostomy bag lay on the floor, long and forgotten.

[pixxers.livejournal.com]

I'm crying. I spent five minutes trying to compose myself enough to respond to this. Oh my god. I want to mad lib all night long, now.

♥ <--- to you from me.

[aoiyuzu.livejournal.com]

Stroking eyebrows...*snickers* XDD!!

[mushrooms.livejournal.com]

;_________;

[ravient.livejournal.com]

wow... WOW! XDDD