Politics

[pez]

It's rather like wank, watching the news, especially when it's politics. Labour is the "ship" that's in power, declared the "canon ship" even though it's not really canon canon. The Tories, Lib Dems and other parties are other ship supporters.

Tony (now Gordon) is the B-est of all BNFs in the "canon ship" and they sort of direct the British people fandom where they want it to go, even if it's to whore to the US crossover with some other fandom to create something total non-sensical (Doraemon/Astro Boy OTP!). It could be because Tony is friends with the BNF of that fandom, George. It could be because they're sleeping together. It could also be because they like to create controversy/wank, or are, in fact, batshit insane. Every now and then they go too far and their own fellow shippers scream WTF and revolt. Sometimes George the BNF is so ineloquent you wonder why he is a BNF, and every time you hear him talk/mumble, you just go *face palm* and change the TV channel scroll down.

Sometimes, we wish we could just vote people out of fandom. Gordon slots right into the hole Tony left and the fandom cries, "we never asked for this!"

Every time Labour does something wrong, the other shippers jump up and point fingers and go "HA! Yours isn't the canon ship afterall!" They demand inquiries, to disprove that Labour is the one-true-ship. Others write investigative reports fandom essays to say that their ship is actually better. Sometimes a particular fresh event scene in the latest episode pops up and creates a massive stir - Labour says "Look, see here, war on terror needs the money THEY TOUCHED HANDS!" and Tories say, "yeah but our own society is broken, spend the attention and money at home our pairing GAZED LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER."

Everyday we get updates on the whole wankage by the news and critics fandom_wank and popular LJ-ists. Every now and then people abandon ship or declare they're leaving the fandom. As if the rest of the people would actually care. Of course, their close friends and sockpuppets would weep, but they'd be forgotten and only every now and then show up in the history book Fandom Wank Wiki, but only if they're worth mentioning.

But in the end, for the majority of the population fandom, all we want is just to happily carry on with our lives fandom activities. Where is the porn gone, anyway?