pez | I've been thinking again

I've been thinking again

I've been thinking again. (Yes I know, not a good sign) So the following is about RP and some other things... and in my usual fashion, I'm not going to use LJ-cut. It's just text, so if you're not interested, just exercise your finger and scroll. ^^

Firstly, about roleplaying.

This is how *I* feel about things, and don't represent the purpose of any RP I mention, the views/thoughts of any RPers who participate.

There seems to be a sense of... distaste for VLP because it's invite only. For me (and I stress that), I like RPs like that. I'm not sure why some feel that it's elitist, because all you need to do to get in is to have some friends there, give them a shout and make them give the comm a shout to see if everybody's okay with a new addition.

For me, despite whatever you may think, RP is a scary thing. I've been in 5 RPs, now it's down to 3, and there are people who are in nearly every single one of the ones I'm in... Belle and Rae, for example. But I still hardly know them, even though I *mod* TF. VLP for me is a group of people I know slightly better (still not very true, but better than in a game where I know nobody), people who I'm more comfortable with. I said to Ebbii last night that it's like sitting down for dinner with a group of friends. I wouldn't mind eating with friends' friends, as long as they seem nice. I get scared if I eat with strangers.

Despite whatever anyone may think about me, I find RP and poking people scary as well. VLP makes roleplaying less scary for me. It's just a group of friends starting a game. It just happens that this type of game is usually open for people to join, whereas the one we've started isn't. I'm applying for another PoT RP right now, and the whole thing is just frightening, boardering intimidating, even though I know that the people are nice. VLP cuts out all that scariness for me, that's all.

How other players view it, I have no idea. But that's how the game is for me.

The second thing is about... the people we call BNFs - Big Name Fans, another topic brought up last night.

Whatever you may have read in fandom_wank, forget it. Fandom_wank is for entertainment, for mockery, for people to bash at each other, whatever you call it. If you take what people say there to be gospel... I'll be honest with you: get out of my friends list.

BNFs are just as the name suggests: their name is well known. That can be because of many reasons - they run a big website; post one hell of a lot in communities and MLs; write really good fics... or it can be that they are annoying, they bombard people with bad fanfics and fanart, they make a fool of themselves...

BNFs may be, but aren't necessarily good or bad. I've been called one because I'm prolific - I posted a lot and a lot of PoT fics at one point, and ran a rather large WK website. That does not mean I'm good at anything (or, fingers-crossed, bad at anything).

BNF or not, I've been playing with the same group of people for the past half year. Whilst I love my friends, I'm always looking for new ones too. Right, I don't automatically add people who have added me to their flist, but I go =D! when somebody pokes me saying hey I've read your stuff, you seem interesting let's chat a bit. I don't know, some people find me intimidating even though I have never even spoken to them - why? Seeing my name a lot doesn't mean anything, does it? During chat over the weekend, people who have never met introduced themselves to each other, giving name and LJ name. The moment I gave my LJ name, somebody (can't remember who, too many people talking) went caps lock in surprise. And I immediately went "shit, my name must be stinking".

Yup.

Guess what I'm trying to say is, if you like me, give me a poke. I'm not intimidating at all. My contact details are on my LJ userinfo page. Unless I'm in a crack chat, I warm up very slowly to people, but I do like getting pokage. BNFs are only how you define them - I consider Ebbii's name very big, even though she is friends-only and doesn't post to comms. Some other people may not agree with me. But usually, whatever they are, unless you know of them because their name stinks, those people you've heard of by name and find intimidating are NOT intimidating and wish you wouldn't think so and wish you'd poke them and tell them their stuff is good/needs improvement, etc. If they don't want to be contacted, you'll be able to tell from their LJ I'm sure.

Kiri: Don't hestitate, poke a BNF today!

...yes, like that. I think I'm going to check out the LJs of some people whose works I like, and give them a poke today.

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Kiri: Don't hestitate, poke a BNF today!

It never hurts to try talking to people, even if they're well known in a fandom. In many cases, they appreciate knowing that people want to talk to them. ^____^

It has always amused me when I've been called a BNF. Because my first response is usually, "...okay. Didn't know you could be a BNF for doing NOTHING. XD"

*pokes you, cause Kiri said to*

And I really don't have a problem with invite-only RPs. When it comes down to it, most people really would rather play with their friends than strangers. If I were to start up an RP right now, it would probably start friends-only, because, er, I like to be surrounded by good people. I think as a writer if you write with good people it makes you better. Constantly. Because other good people challenge you and you improve. It's almost a competition, but a good one, because it makes all of you better and more skilled writers.

/my random input

*laughs* I always find the whole notion of BNFs kinda funny, though I do know that there are a few out there. I don't know any of them personally (any more) though =p. (Erk, hope I didn't pop your bubble! <3)

...but yeah, there are certain people I would definitely hesitate to say anything to, mostly because they've defined a pairing or character by their writing -- you know what I mean, the people whose characterizations others latch onto and then emulate.

It's all the pov thing. Some people think your name is big, some people don't, and usually the person concerned doesn't. So everybody goes HUH all the time XD Strange that people get so fixated with this idea.

Yup yup, know what you're talking about... :x

RUE IS LOVE 8D! <3

*pokespokes~* :D Hii. Sorry for the confusion earlier. I should know better than to try and properly comprehend anything I've read 10 minutes after waking up.

I'm still kinda...lurky/ninja'ing about, but I plan on diving into all things RP'ish by next week again.

Hope to talk to you more then. ^.~

Hi Pez *wave*

I feel so out of the loop again. I've never heard of fandom_wank before, and the BNF thing is new to me as well. Although from your explanation of it, I was very much like that with Ebby when I first started chatting with her because I enjoy reading TF and CP and her Nious were some of my favourite characters. But I think that's because she is such an awesome writer and at the time my confidence in my own writing was next to none.

The same can be said about VLP. I was so shocked when Ebby invited me in because I didn't think I had the skills to be a part of it, again because my confidence sucks, even though I had already started to meet and chat with a bunch of the players in the lovely crack chat.

But I like VLP being invite only for basically all the same reasons you mentioned. Brynn, Chaco, and I are starting an RP soon which is going to be invite only for the beginning before we open the remaining characters to the public.

If we can figure out a way for Sengoku and your boys to meet in VLP, I'd love to play with you. ^_^ But I warn I seem to be terribly slow with VLP tags. I think I'm still getting to know Sengoku.

I WANTED YOU IN VLP. BADLY. You were my first choice when I got asked if I wanted to invite anyone else to the group we already had. Don't be shocked, I really adore the way you RP and I adore you <3

*lovingly gnaws on your ankies* ♥

I've never heard of the term BNF before reading this (you learn something new everyday). Although I do think some people's fiction/art/etc is amazing it would never stop me from leaving a comment. They are still fans just like I am.

I like the dinner metaphor for the invite only RP, I don't see why people would get upset about it. You aren't hurting anyone by having an invite only and having fun with your friends.

And Ebby is love, ebil love, but still love.

*sheepish grin*

That was me who went all caps lock and flailed like mad. ^_^

Mostly because I love your work so much and was overwelmed just like I am every time I meet someone I admire in the fandom. (which is a lot) I really didn't mean anything by it. I just had another moment of hero worship.

I LOVE YOU PEZ!!!!!111111111ELEVENYTWELVE *kisses*

~Van

Oh man. PEZ. I totally understand with VLP. It was intended to be just that, a group of friends sitting down together, having at least some knowledge of who the other is, and having fun because of it. I adore the fact that I'm friends with people in there and the fact that I've met new people, as well. Everyone in VLP is awesome and I find myself always in awe of them, you know? I don't know how it came out to be elitist and such, I think it is because of the invite-only thing. People unconsciously take that as intimidating, like an FO banner? Thing is, I kind of ignore that in favor of sitting down and trying to have fun with people. I think it's easier that way? I mean, I remember the first time I met you and I was UBER SHY, and then you friended me and I got to read your posts, read about you and everything and just stopped being shy after awhile. I mean, I know it really doesn't seem like it, but I am. The only reason I can be so outgoing in chat is because it is kind of like VLP, everyone in there knows your name and you know everyone else's. It has the friendly atmosphere that VLP has. Eeep, I'm all over the place with this, but I just wanted to say that I do understand. I think it is the fact that we know each other in VLP, in fact someone has even told me that VLP is kind of intimidating because we seem v. v. close-knit. The last part makes me really really just burst with love because it was one of my expectations for VLP, to have that closeness with people, that comfortableness, but at the same time, I understand why that would make a new person scared. They're looking in on this rp where everyone is friends with everyone else and probably think, "I am never going to fit in!" The thing is, I remember that VLP is now accepting apps? You can send them to either Moff or Ari and have them check them over. I don't know if that means if we can or cannot invite players, but I'm staying on the safe side <- tiptoeing around eggshells, man.

The BNF thing, oh MAN. You and Ari were the ones who told me about them. I had no clue what a BNF was and kind of just thought it was a sandwich at Subway;; STILL! I know that BNF's are like everyone else, people that don't want to be intimidating and want to meet new people. I know it, but it is so hard to just peek out and actually poke them. It isn't just BNF's though, I even have that problem with people I know. I just have this really big fear of bothering people <- does not want to be a bother or a nuisance. And, dude, my name is like SMALL and COMFY, which I love. I don't think I could handle being known by tons and tons of people and intimidating them. It doesn't seem right because I'm just Ebby, when anyone tells me that I'm not fat, or that I don't need to lose weight and aren't ugly and etc, I tell them it's okay, because I'm just Ebby. It's terribly hard to wrap my mind around the thought, especially because of the reasons you stated. XD <- TOO SCARED TO POST TO COMMS <- PARANOID IS THE REASON FOR FO <3

I . . . don't know if I made sense at all with this. I just woke up, read this and found that I had to reply, because if I waited till later then I would've forgotten ♥

*pokes*

*snuggles*

I totally hear you on the BNF thing. I still don't get it. It's just a little bit scary to me. I've had people ask me how they should go about becoming one. o.0;

Fandom is a weird and complex place.

*is finally getting round to checking flist* >.> Blame school. D:

Although I never really got into the whole RPing thing, what with all the Yuutas I've had dying on me, and I'm not in VLP myself, I definitely agree with what you say about it. If it helps you feel more comfortable, and you enjoy it, which is the main objective of you joining any rp, then I think its a perfectly good thing to have. :x

As to BNFs (which I never really knew the definition of until a month or so ago), I think it's always intimidating when you first talk to someone who is very well known and such. But, me being the total hermit under a rock that I am, I don't usually realise that I'm talking to someone "big" at all until afterwards. Though, granted, I never usually poke anyone myself, and it's usually people who poke me. I've never been and most probably never will be a BNF (which, mind you, is a good thing) but I do understand that it can be frustrating if others feel intimidated. ._. *hugs* I guess its a sign of respect and awe though, so perhaps it isn't altogether negative? :x

I've never heard the term BFN before, but I can think of a lot of people like that...

ebbii is definitely one and so are you. For ebby, it's mainly because almost everyone on her flist talks about her and for the longest time, I wondered who she was. Hahhaaa. I even had a post asking "So who is Ebby, dear flist? x_x;"

Anyway, I heard about you from

ikyutakei when she reccommended your fics for me to stalk. I'm one of those lazy people who write more fics than they read, so uh, I haven't read a lot of yours. x_x; But I've just known you from that and... I dunno. Your name has always stuck out.

Er, what is VLP and fandom_wank? <~ ignorant x_x;

And er. Sorry about the caps thing. x_x; At least you had my baby? Hahaha. ....er, it was you right? >>; <~ such a bad memory

I'd RP with you but school is killing me. That and I can't RP over AIM very well. I'm more of a message board person. x_x;

Interesting things about BNF. :D I was first introduced to that word by

morphaileffect and for others I think it may be a bit intimidating to actually approach a BNF personally through aim. I usually get to know some writers that I admire or love through commenting (ie: spam their fics with spazz, though I do try to have constructive, meaningful comments XD). But I met you through the chat. :D; I hope that wasn't too up front. And I don't normally friend people's personal LJ unless I've talked to them (art, fic ljs I would friend because I like their work). But I love your lj! You post really interesting things (like Zhao Zhiyang and a couple of other things with news and such) that I can relate to. Like the fox said "to create relationships"; there needs to be a connection. X3

...and I have no idea what I'm saying anymore. :D;;; Uhh in conclusion, your name doesn't stink! I admire you a lot. :)

I must admit that I am equally as bad at poking people. I tend to shy away, even if I know them quite well *looks sheepishly at ebbii*. Whoever said poking people is easy must be either lying or they had a lot of practice. I would love to chat to you, but I am afraid of bothering you at times and maybe you will think that I am a ditz >.> Your name does not stink as well, I remember seeing your name and went O.O and it is not because you have a bad reputation, it is because I have reaad your works and I liked it a lot... but yeah. I am a bad commenter >.>

I think the whole, invite-only thing has its good points as well as its bad. I myself don't personally mind it in the least because of the situation you sorta described. Heck, I will fully admit to being shy and only rp'ing with people I feel comfortable with at first.

PoT is the first fandom that I've actually gotten involved with, so I can say that I used to be one of those people who used to just stare at and stalk certain people I found over the net.

I used to be just a little nervous about poking you, but then again, I'm nervous about poking anyone new, so it's not just you. Though, I did try for a while... But your name is not stinking.

I think there was some sort of point I had with all of this, but I can't remember what only that I agree with a lot of what you said. I blame the teddy grahams. They stole my brain. <3

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I've been thinking again

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