pez | (no subject)

(no subject)

So it was decided, in our very own lastminute.com fashion, that Drae and I are going to hop to Cologne for two days and visit Tine.

Plushies are uber excited. I'm excited and going WTF. And erm yeah.

WTF?!?!?! XD adkjdajh fwfehuehf hcnaspijtwe jhdnfasnjk!!!

*cough*

There is now no money for Christmas shopping, which is YAY not WOE because I'm scared of the Christmas crowds.

Niou is wearing his shirt and school tie and Santa hat and kilt and looking very bored (see icon). But I'll need to try not to let him distract me during the meeting.

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*trips over feet for excitement*

Yay Yay YAYYYYY!!!

Okay, so the plan for the next two weeks: work. buy xmas presents. meet ina. sleep, work, meet friends, sleep, work, have xmas, eat a lot (probably), sleep and play with my laptop, frantically try to get ready, get visa, have you over, pack, spend new year's with friends, fly to China, work.

Way to get the adrenaline roaring. XD XD XD

not that any of you would give a shit, but I'm in Wuppertal over Christmas, which is 20 mins from Koeln. *shrugs*

But it's not like any of us talk anymore

... That is so very unfair that I'm not even going to try to argue.

Unfair it may be

The point is that it's true and has been since hmmm 2nd week of November

I haven't contacted Drae in any way apart from LJ comments since after Hamburg (apart from last night, checking travel details). I haven't contacted Tine since then either, apart from LJ comments and email which I know you aren't very fond of. We all know for a fact they don't chat online often. You might also want to go ask ANYONE how often they've seen me online for the last month.

I've made a post back a while ago saying I'm going to be away from chat to do my own things and I had said specifically that I'm not going to be there for my friends. I've come to a point where I've decided I need more time to myself. And I'm not not going to be sorry that I've rediscovered books and games, I've written more fics posted or unposted, I've spent more time with my pets.

I'm not going to write a 2000 word essay about this. What you've said is true, that the couple of us haven't talked much for a while. But does reduced contact really mean not giving a shit, if you've already made your mind up there's no point in me saying anymore.

I never asked for a 2000 word essay, but email replies would be nice...

Friendship is usually a two way street, involving being there for each other. One sided friendship is when one decides not to be. Not being there for 'friends' already implies that you don't give a shit. "I'm your friend, but I'm not going to be there for you" isn't a part of friendship... but it's good that you're finding yourself.

I realise it's my own fault, so I don't expect a sorry anyway. I shouldn't have relied on your friendship when you always made a point of saying how you could never sympathise with people, but it feels like crap when someone you consider a good friend suddenly has no time whatsoever for you.

Re-read what you wrote, you already validated my point.

I haven't replied to ONE email. Can it be so bad?

"I'm your friend, but I'm not going to be there for you" isn't a part of friendship

I was hoping my friends would wait for me to come back.

Waiting is well and good, but how hard would it have been to mail me to ask where I was going to be over Christmas? Hell, I don't even know when over Christmas you'll be there, but that isn't really the point.

It just really cut. In the same country as me, but no one even contemplated wanting to see if I could say hi too...

I was hoping my friends would wait for me to come back.
I understand it, but isn't that a little selfish? Not be there for your friends when they might need you, but for them to be there when you're ready to come back and when you might need them.

Maybe I'm too demanding a friend, because sometimes I can't help but wonder*shrugs* My being hurt doesn't mean I retract my friendship, it just means I'm hurt.

I had been thinking all along that you only have a day off on Christmas Day and then you'll have to work again, which makes asking you what you're doing for Christmas a horrible thing to do. I'm going to Cologne 28th to 30th.

but isn't that a little selfish?

I know. I have already said before that I know it makes me a terrible person, in those exact words. I was just hoping not expecting.

I said I was off sick until the 24th. I'll be in Wuppertal from 24th - 26th. It doesn't fit anyway *sighs* being asked, by anyone, just would have been nice.

I'll live, I always do, just tell me when you're back I guess

Have fun and stuff

cologne is nice, xmas market is quite famous.
the cahtedral is under premanent construction tho.

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